Mario Kart

Tuesday, July 15th, 2008 @ 12:30am

I had not played Mario Kart in a while due to sparsely playing other games (Okami, TF2, Lunar 2 to mention a few)… And was reminded there’s a lot of crap that goes on in the latest iteration of the game. So I present to you, Jason’s Laws of Mario Kart!

1st place is only a punishment.

Players who are in 1st place really don’t belong there anyway. So to help prevent someone from hogging first place too long an army of blue shells will be sent to remove said player from position. A player in 1st place is really being anti-social, but a couple of blue shells will help to put them back in their place with the rest of the group. Remember, Mario Kart is really a party game, so we don’t want someone to be a loner!

Dodging a blue shells requires a doctorate’s degree in astrophysics.

Blue shell dynamics are a mystery to most, and is under intense study by top scholars. Unfortunately for the rest of us who can’t afford to attend MIT, the avoidance of an incoming blue shell remains elusive.

Chance for lightning strike when there is no ground below increases ten fold.

Yet another mystery of nature unsolved. You’re happily flying along over a ramp, and when you least expect it, a bolt comes out of the blue sending you off into the deep abyss below. Many scholars suggest that ramps increase your negative charge to attract the lightning, but many dispute this theory. For now, it remains a mystery why this phenomenon happens.

Submit a comment! Become famous!

Preview Comment

  1. Anonymous said
    Sep 22nd, 2017 @ 3:38pm