Jason's Blog

Ah yes, sleepless nights. I’ve been sitting in bed for the past hour and half staring at the ceiling just pondering, praying, and contemplating about life in general. You can get a good bid of thinking done when you don’t have anything else to do.

To think that this is my last semester of college, it’s kind of strange. Many of my friends that I have gotten to know over the years, have enjoyed hanging around, and have come to love… I may not see them again a year from now as we each go our separate ways. Even though I thank God for every moment I am able to have with my friends, it is somewhat depressing to think that in the future I may not see them again…

I’ve also had time to ponder God’s plan for my life as well. I guess the question, “What do you want to do after you graduate?” continue comes up and does make me wonder what I really am going to do after I graduate. To be perfectly honest however, I really can’t say I know. Am I okay with it? Strangely enough, yeah. I can’t really explain it but for all my life I have known that God has a plan for me, even if He hasn’t revealed that plan to me. Because of that I can rest assured that even through the good times, and the bad times He will be there for me. There’s really no need for me to worry about what comes tomorrow, next week, or even next year for that matter. I just know He’ll provide, and that’s just comforting. Something amazing is in store, I just don’t know what yet.

But I’m not perfect. I still have my faults. Even knowing that, I do still tend to worry from time to time when I know I shouldn’t. Yet I pray every day for His strength, and His guidance, and most of all… patience. Patience probably is the hardest thing for me. Especially with how instant everything is in society today, everything happens now. I wish His plan would unfold now, I wish I did know what was going to happen in the future. Yet, even still He still has his reasons for not showing me the big picture. It does make you ponder upon the amazingness of God, and really makes you humble when you realize trite simple things are nothing to Him. It’s at that time when you remember everything is under His control, everything is in His hands, that finally peace returns. Our God really is an amazing God…

Change, that’s also another interesting thing to think about. Sometimes I wonder, “Am I really gravitating towards who/what God wants me to be?” Change is never an easy thing in itself, yet even still I strive to become more like Him every day, through all my failures, and my many short-comings.

For now, I will continue to ponder some of these thoughts while I attempt to sleep…